Great Britain! Do you remember when we used to be known as that? Now we are commonly referred to us UK - with the era of text speak upon us that might as well stand for ’U Kowards!’ We live in a country that is scared of absolutely everything!
The Home Secretary looked both shaken and stirred (perhaps he was afraid of cameras?) this week as he announced to the nation that the terrorism risk alert had been raised from ’substantial’ to ’severe’! Yeah, thanks a lot for that Alan - that won’t get our nation of mollycoddled wimps running around in a panic will it? What’s the level above that called: ’leave the country now, run!’
We used to have a resilience about us, a stiff upper lip and a bulldog spirit, now we have a quivering bottom lip and poodle haircuts. Thank goodness we don’t have The Blitz going on anymore, people wouldn’t even get into the air raid shelters because they would be afraid of the dark and it might be a bit cold for them!
It is right for the public to be vigilant, we do live in uncertain times, but I fully expect to see people out on the streets wearing masks and looking nervously over their shoulders every five seconds. People who get on buses carrying a bag or rucksack must be prepared to be treated as a social outcast and my Asian friends can expect to be subjected to another month of suspicious looks and general hatred.
I have honestly heard people say that they can’t go shopping because they are worried that the shopping centre might be attacked by terrorists! Yes, that’s right at the top of ther targets I’m sure - a Netto in a dingy northern town. Get real, Britain!
It’s not just terrorists that we are afraid of, of course: when the snow hit, it was as if the country had been covered by a layer of nuclear fallout. Regular news bulletins, every single hour of every single day, told us how to behave in the snow! Shelves were stripped bare by those who had dared to venture out as the selfish amongst us snapped up the 20 loaves that had just arrive at the supermarket. It was the same last Summer - we had official advice from the government on how to behave when the predicted heatwave arrived! (My advice would be to grab a cool beer, get the shirt off and smile but the official line seemed a little less fun) It never got above twenty degrees! People still had their central heating on full blast throughout August, that was the heatwave for you!
I hear full grown men complain that they don’t like the cold and they shriek when they see a spider! What is wrong with us all! We need to stop worrying about bombs, stop worrying about using butter on our crumpets and how much salt is in our low fat tofu burger, stop worrying about how hot the summer may or may not be in 2020, stop being scared of the slightest noise that we hear in the night - houses creak, get over it!
We are all going to die one day (that’s a bummer for all those who are scared of dying I suppose, and a dilemma for those who are either scared of enclosed spaces or scared of fire) and none of us know when that day will arrive. Until then, let’s live our life worry-free! Being scared, and changing our lives because a government minister has changed some arbitrary rating is wrong - that is the way to let those who hate our way of life win. In all honesty, you have much more chance of being killed crossing the road today than you have of being harmed by terrorists. ’Yes, but we have to do that as well’ I hear your double-scared self say!
I have to go now, but the next person that I see acting in a frightened manner will get a verbal broadside from me! Unless they are bigger than me of course, and then I’d be too scared!
